The Daily Grace
The Daily Grace

Edgar.

Aug 15, 2012 | god & grace

Lisa Roberson is my oldest friend. And I mean that in the most literal sense. Not only were our parents dear friends, she and I were born in the same hospital (in Wise, Virginia) three days apart. We lay there beside each other in that nursery in 1959 and I swear, have had a bond ever since. My heart felt such gratitude when she generously offered this story as a comment on my post about time and the loss of my dear cat, Tiger. I asked her for permission to share it with you, here. I am so glad she said yes.

Cathy Dear Cathy…Not that this is about me. I did want to share my story with you after reading about Tiger.

I lost my 19 year old orange male cat named Edgar just three weeks ago. I made his choice for him after talking and talking and talking to him about his final days and how would he like to go. I talked to him about the Rainbow bridge and all the other animals he knew that would be there…about the relaxing shot he would get, about how he had been a good cat partner for 19 years and how he would do it for me!!

The morning I was preparing him to go to the vet was a beautiful Maine morning. I thought to myself “Edgar loves the sunshine and being outside so I will put him in the yard until the very last moment…he could enjoy the sunshine.” It became time to go, never thinking that he could or would walk away…he did. The next hour was spent looking all around the neighborhood for him. How could he have walked away when he was so weak he couldn’t eat or drink or even move from the rug he slept on last night? I sat quietly for awhile on my steps, reflecting on the guilt I felt for having made this decision for him, the pain I felt for him being missing and the wonder of all the “what ifs”..what if I never moved him from Virginia, what if I didn’t let him enjoy the sunshine this morning, what if I could have done all the things that seem so invasive (at 19 years old) to have him live a bit longer, what if…what if… what if…

Then I chuckled to myself at the Mantra folks in Maine say. “In Maine, wait 15 minutes and everything will be different, the weather, how you feel, the traffic, the seas.” So I waited. Then it became cloudy. Then it begin to rain. I was so upset. How could it be that this beautiful morning has turned into This?

Then, just like the sunshine that peaked between the rain, it came to me. The very first day Edgar was here, he went under the pine trees into the neighbor’s yard. I followed the path he took that very first day and found him under a car two blocks away.

At the sound of my voice he was trying to get out from under the car, but he was too weak. I rolled under the car and gathered him up, all the while thinking….just to put him to sleep.

The rain stopped, the sun came out, I was at the vet and everything had changed.

For the first time in my life, I have no pets. 15 more minutes in Maine….

Lisa’s Edgar

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Cathy Rigg Headshot

Hi. I’m Cathy.

This is a blog about writing, creative living, and grace in the everyday. It’s my hope this little spot on the internet will be for you a place of quiet and reflection, a source for inspiration, and a reminder there’s beauty all around—we simply need to keep our hearts open to see it. Thank you for being here with me.

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